Tonight I came out of the closet. I told my mom that I have a blog about love and disaster. I paused, knowing what would come next.
“Now, I’m your mother so I have to ask…”
Here we go…
“What happens when you DO date someone. This isn’t like…gonna scare anyone away… will it?”
I was ready for this. I replied that I beleive the person I wind up with will find my quirkiness adorable, my neurosis charming and my complete lack of grace a turn-on. “Plus,” I added, “I won’t tell him I have a blog.”
“What?! You can’t NOT tell him.”
“Mother, you know how I feel about double negatives.”
“You HAVE to tell him about your blog. He’ll find out!”
“You didn’t know I have a blog until I just told you.”
“Right, but how can you enter into an open, honest relationship if he doesn’t know that you…”
“Mom. I can’t land a normie for the life of me.”
“A what?”
“A normal guy. This should not be our top concern right now. Are we really having a hypothetical conversation about how difficult my blog about the difficulties of dating is going to make things for my imaginary suitor?”
“Yeah.. ok, ” she said.
Slap.
“Mom? What was that?”
“I just smacked myself.”
